In the following weeks:
A marriage here only happens if EVERYONE plays a role. "Wedding Planning Meetings" were held frequently. At these meetings committees were formed (eg transportation, kitchen, budgets, etc), duties assigned, and contributions requested. We had to establish who had vehicles that could be used, who could help cook, who we could borrow plates and chairs from, who would make the dresses, where we could get decorations, and who would watch the bicycles to make sure they weren't stolen during the ceremony. And of course everyone is asked for contributions. One couple may offer to purchase a crate of soda for the reception. Someone else may offer to pay for fuel for a vehicle. Another may simply give 5,000 Uganda shillings (which is less than $3 USD, but here that's a lot of money). While it was torture to sit through these meetings, I appreciate how much of a community effort it is to put together such a celebration. The old adage "It takes a village..." is actually quite literal here. Everyone is referred to in familial terms (mama, aunt, sister, uncle, brother, father...).
quick explanatory diversion: I was in a village with some friends drinking malwa and chatting with the locals. The old man next to me decided he needed to explain--"in Uganda everyone is family. all the old men in the village are your fathers, the old women are your mothers [. . . . ] so now I am your what? Your father. You are my what? my daughter." I said "ok, papa Simon, give me the what? the straw." The malwa is in a big pot in the middle and everyone drinks from long straws.
This theme extends into nearly every aspect of life.
January 26,2008:
Here's a glimpse at life in "Africa Time"--the wedding was scheduled to start at 10 am. I arrived at about 12. The ceremony began about 1:00. The program had us eating at 6:00, so if things went according to schedule (meaning 3 hours behind schedule) we wouldn't be eating until 9:00pm. This did not give me pleasure!
The ceremony began with singing worship songs. After a while the groom began his march down the aisle with his peg boy and best man, accompanied by a choir. This march down the aisle lasted nearly 30 minutes! It was a very, very slow process. It was followed by more singing, and then the bride's march with her bridal party (quite large: 2 flower girls, a maid of honor, a matron of honor, and 6 maids.), they were a bit quicker than the groom, only took 20 minutes! (Here's just a little snippet of how wonderful it was...)
The two exchanged vows (same as the traditional vows in the west) and then there was a sermon. By the time it was all said and done it was 5:00.
The reception was taking place just outside, so we shuffled around and waited while the bridal party
drove off for picture taking. The MC began seating everyone in their proper places (there were 3 tents and everyone is arranged similarly to how they are for the wedding) about 6:00 and got things started until the bride and groom arrived. They fed each other their first meal, cut the cake, gave gifts to parents and other prominent attendees, received gifts from the guests, and then started announcing for various sections to go eat (food was seriously my main concern at this point since I hadn't eaten since 10:00 and had only had 1 meal the previous day). Unfortunately for me I got distracted by talking to people and by the time I stood in line to get food, it was gone! At first I wanted to cry, but then realized that I had been hungry for so long that I wasn't even really hungry anymore. My friend scrounged up some scraps for me (thank goodness for chapati!) and it was fine--this is when the fun really starts anyway--dancing! It didn't last long though, once it gets dark people are ready to head home, traveling in the dark on bad roads is not really fun. Thus ended the excitement that was James and Norah's wedding (and begins the excitement that will be James and Norah's marriage). I'm glad I was a part of it, and hope no one ever expects me to march down the aisle at the speed of a sleepy snail!
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