She loved to laugh—I mean she must have had a sense of humor to name all of her 5 children names that start with G! She loved life and adventure, glitz and glamor. She was very strong and overcame great obstacles throughout her life. She suffered great tragedy, more than anyone should have to endure, and I’m certain her heartbreak caused the slow deterioration of her body. She was a woman of intensity, and intense was her love. She spoiled me rotten as a child (to the great irritation of my elder siblings), and although she stopped dressing me up in frilly pink frocks I think she only very recently began to realize I was no longer a child. Babies were her joy in life, perhaps because they represent a life of wonder and frivolity. I take great pleasure that she now can pursue such an existence herself, free from all that binds in this world (like that pesky cholesterol), reunified with the sons she lost so young. Efrain Martinez was undoubtedly the love of her life, and he was the grounding foundation of consistency in the second half of her life. The name by which I know him, Papacita, epitomizes much of their relationship for me. After I began learning Spanish in school I learned that this name was technically incorrect in every way (including its feminine form), but by that point it was his name, he was Papacita, so I couldn’t just start calling him abuelito. But I never remember him correcting me as a child, and although he may have tried to correct Mawmaw in the beginning he obviously lost that battle. The language they shared was unique to the two of them, always a compromise, sometimes a point of contention, and an endless source of amusement for me (sitting in the back seat of the car giggling, swaying back and forth with the perpetual swerve of the steering wheel—just like in old movies!). Papacita was everything that she needed, what would any of us done without him?
She can be proud of the role she has played in the legacy of this family. To follow the trail of her journey in life would be a fascinating journey indeed, worthy of the Hollywood she so enjoyed. She has lain tracks around the world, I myself have followed some of the tracks she laid before me to places like Thailand and Japan, and perhaps one day I will pursue paths she walked elsewhere in places such as Peru. As a child I took for granted the snippets of stories from these far away places,but now as a women in the 21st century I hold great respect for what an accomplishment such explorations actually were for her. Any difficulties or dangers I may face are nothing compared to those of a woman in her day: most obviously for the technology available today, not least for the expectations in the middle of the 20th century of what she should have been doing with her days. If Mawmaw could wander in the far off reaches of the globe alone, why shouldn't I? No one can doubt that she was a determined woman, and she has leant great strength to the generations that have followed her, we—the three generations that grieve her loss now, and those that are to come—owe a great debt of gratitude for the paths she laid before us. Just as she held great appreciation for the lives of her ancestors, all that we have achieved is linked to everything she achieved in her own life. I for one have learned a great deal from her, from having the determination to do whatever I damn well please, to learning not to allow bitterness for the horrors of this world to take hold of my life.
She has loved greatly and she lost greatly, but she went on to love more and more: just as she learned we can never go back, we must not regret the past or things we cannot change, rather take hold of the memories and seeds of wisdom gained and invest them in the relationships and opportunities before us. I love her deeply and will miss her wholly, I will seek adventure and spoil children in her name, and I will eat strawberry pie with lots and lots of whip cream in celebration of her.
