A wedding, part 2

The story of a Ugandan wedding continued...

In the following weeks:
A marriage here only happens if EVERYONE plays a role. "Wedding Planning Meetings" were held frequently. At these meetings committees were formed (eg transportation, kitchen, budgets, etc), duties assigned, and contributions requested. We had to establish who had vehicles that could be used, who could help cook, who we could borrow plates and chairs from, who would make the dresses, where we could get decorations, and who would watch the bicycles to make sure they weren't stolen during the ceremony. And of course everyone is asked for contributions. One couple may offer to purchase a crate of soda for the reception. Someone else may offer to pay for fuel for a vehicle. Another may simply give 5,000 Uganda shillings (which is less than $3 USD, but here that's a lot of money). While it was torture to sit through these meetings, I appreciate how much of a community effort it is to put together such a celebration. The old adage "It takes a village..." is actually quite literal here. Everyone is referred to in familial terms (mama, aunt, sister, uncle, brother, father...).
quick explanatory diversion: I was in a village with some friends drinking malwa and chatting with the locals. The old man next to me decided he needed to explain--"in Uganda everyone is family. all the old men in the village are your fathers, the old women are your mothers [. . . . ] so now I am your what? Your father. You are my what? my daughter." I said "ok, papa Simon, give me the what? the straw." The malwa is in a big pot in the middle and everyone drinks from long straws.
This theme extends into nearly every aspect of life.

January 26,2008:
Here's a glimpse at life in "Africa Time"--the wedding was scheduled to start at 10 am. I arrived at about 12. The ceremony began about 1:00. The program had us eating at 6:00, so if things went according to schedule (meaning 3 hours behind schedule) we wouldn't be eating until 9:00pm. This did not give me pleasure!
The ceremony began with singing worship songs. After a while the groom began his march down the aisle with his peg boy and best man, accompanied by a choir. This march down the aisle lasted nearly 30 minutes! It was a very, very slow process. It was followed by more singing, and then the bride's march with her bridal party (quite large: 2 flower girls, a maid of honor, a matron of honor, and 6 maids.), they were a bit quicker than the groom, only took 20 minutes! (Here's just a little snippet of how wonderful it was...)
The two exchanged vows (same as the traditional vows in the west) and then there was a sermon. By the time it was all said and done it was 5:00.

The reception was taking place just outside, so we shuffled around and waited while the bridal party drove off for picture taking. The MC began seating everyone in their proper places (there were 3 tents and everyone is arranged similarly to how they are for the wedding) about 6:00 and got things started until the bride and groom arrived. They fed each other their first meal, cut the cake, gave gifts to parents and other prominent attendees, received gifts from the guests, and then started announcing for various sections to go eat (food was seriously my main concern at this point since I hadn't eaten since 10:00 and had only had 1 meal the previous day). Unfortunately for me I got distracted by talking to people and by the time I stood in line to get food, it was gone! At first I wanted to cry, but then realized that I had been hungry for so long that I wasn't even really hungry anymore. My friend scrounged up some scraps for me (thank goodness for chapati!) and it was fine--this is when the fun really starts anyway--dancing! It didn't last long though, once it gets dark people are ready to head home, traveling in the dark on bad roads is not really fun. Thus ended the excitement that was James and Norah's wedding (and begins the excitement that will be James and Norah's marriage). I'm glad I was a part of it, and hope no one ever expects me to march down the aisle at the speed of a sleepy snail!

A wedding, part 1

Though my friends James and Norah have officially been married for several weeks, the wedding ceremony, thus allowing them to behave as a married couple, has just taken place yesterday. The various ceremonies leading up to this celebratory day have taken place over the past 6 weeks. Their courtship before this was only several months, and was completely secret from everyone (well, except for a few select persons, *awink*) until about 7 weeks ago. I will describe the whole process in 2 blogs, because I'm sure most of you reading this as emial aren't prepared to read a whole book! So let's start from the beginning:

December 16: Introductions

Spend a day in a village in Uganda and you will be distinctly aware that introductions (like greetings) are of up most importance. Any formal or semi-formal function will involve the host and their family introducing themselves, asking the heads of guest households to introduce their family members, and often key guests will be asked to say something (I've lost track of how many "speeches" I've had to make). This process could potentially take hours, depending on the event, how many guests there are, and how long-winded they are allowed to be.

For this occasion the primary focus is on introducing the community to the person you intend to marry. First our numerous party arrived at the church of the groom's head pastor, Elim Pentecostal Church. After worship and prayers, the pastor announced ever so coyly that a certain pastor whom everyone had been praying would find a wife has come to make an announcement. He called James and his escorts to the front, James said a few words about finding a wife, and then he was asked to identify the woman he has chosen. Music was played and the entourage marched (think wedding march not military march) back and forth through the rows of the church (so as not to be presumptuous) until he finally reached Norah, whom he invited to join him. The church erupted into the "YI-YI-YI-Yiiiiii" exclamations of celebration from the woman as the couple marched to the front with now both of their entourages. James introduced his bride-to-be, Norah was asked to say a few words, and then we begged forgiveness as our whole group flooded out of the church, into our vehicles, and on to the next set of introductions.

As we arrived at Norah's church seats were cleared in the front rows for the guests and we were welcomed and asked to introduce ourselves. This time it was Norah's pastor who announced that something special would take place this morning. Norah was called forward with her entourage. It was her turn to march around the church (keep in mind that these churches are about the size of a living room, so no one gets lost in the crowd!) to identify the man she would marry. After she picked him out and they marched to the front, she introduced him, he said a few words, and again we rushed out.

Last we went to the church that James pastors in a nearby village. Here in this mud hut all parties began to relax, and while the formalities were the same, the atmosphere was much cooler. (This, by the way, was my first introduction to Oderai Village, which is where I spent Christmas and is one of my favorite places to be in Uganda).

December 23: Family Introductions and Dowry Negotiations

James and Norah were looking to make things as simple as possible. If they had their way, they would have had their wedding ceremony the same day as these introductions. Technically at this point they would be married anyway, but socially a marriage ceremony must happen before they can move in together. But Norah's parents weren't going to let that happen today. Nonetheless there was significant hubbub, which involved transporting something like 22 people in 2 vehicles from Soroti (where I'm living) to a village about an hour south called Bukedia. When we arrived we had to declare the purpose of our visit and obtain the permission of the family to enter their property. After a bit of taunting and negotiating, a ribbon was cut and we were welcomed in. A tent had been set up with chairs and we all piled in. Luckily Norah's family had already gathered so we didn't have to wait long. The MC announced the program (nothing here happens without a detailed schedule of events, even a birthday party!).

We began with, that's right, introductions, but I'm hanging with the right crowd because we managed to get through them in about 15 minutes. The chairperson of the wedding party (if you haven't caught on yet they are very formal with their titles and programs and everything) was asked to explain why they were present. There was bit of banter. Then the MC said that the girl they have come for is on her way and if we would be patient, her helicopter would land shortly and we could identify her as the intended bride. We waited. We bribed (the groomsmen came prepared with numerous envelopes containing 1000 shilling bills). Music started playing and 3 young girls marched into the tent and knelt. The MC said "please, is the girl you've come for here?" Some of James' entourage bemusedly pondered the girls and inspected them closely, then announced, "these are but children! The girl we want is not here! Please let me give them money for transport so they can go back to school!" They are handed envelopes and leave.

Again, the MC says the girl is on her way, "maybe she has been delayed by a meeting with the president, please be patient." We wait. We bribe. The music plays and three women march into the tent and kneel. "Please, identify which is the girl you are here to take away from us." The entourage inspects the three and spends some time in discussion, but finally decides the bride is not among these girls, so they offer money for transport and send them away. Again we wait ("I think I hear her helicopter now!") and in march 6 women. They are inspected. There are discussions. Finally they say yes, the girl we want is here, but please first let us give transport so the rest of these girls can go home." Norah is then asked by her family to identify the man in the crowd that she intends to marry. She marches with her entourage and selects James.

Next they have to negotiate the dowry. Norah's family compiles a list and passes it on to James' family. If I remember correctly it consisted of 6 bulls, 4 goats, maybe 10 chickens, and 200,000 Ugandan shillings. While this is a costly list, it is actually a relatively small request, as Norah is considered a valuable member of the family (having a university education). But obviously these things were discussed prior to today, and informally agreed upon. James' family accepted the bride price, and they discussed when the transfer of property would take place and when the wedding would be held.

to be continued...
(sorry my pictures are less than stellar. My skin color draws more than enough attention as it is, so I try to be as inconspicuous as possible in my picture taking--or forgo it completely--to avoid creating more of a spectacle)

Celsius versus Fahrenheit

I'm very happy that I have an oven in my current abode (I've made some kick-ass chocolate cake, which I hope I can replicate as I'm supposed to bake lots and lots for my friends wedding this weekend!). I'm not always the brightest bulb though. Last night after baking sweet potato ginger muffins (delicious, by the way, recipe to follow) I suddenly realized that the highest temperature setting on the oven was 200 not because it is a wimpy oven, but because it is 200 CELSIUS, not Fahrenheit as I had assumed in my American head. wow. And what's really amazing is that every time I've baked I've started the oven on "max" and watched whatever was baking carefully since I didn't really know what "max" was, and had to turn it down because the top was going to burn before the inside cooked. Still the concept of a different scale of measurement did not occur to me. Luckily I've managed to save all my baked goodies from being scorched (as well as continue to impress my British house mate who is usually quite reluctant about my various random concoctions). Anyway, enjoy these muffins!

Ginger Sweet Potato Muffins

1 ¾ C all purpose flour
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp ground ginger *
½ tsp ground cinnamon
optional: ¼ tsp ground cardamom or nutmeg (both are highly recommended!)
¾ C light brown sugar, firmly packed
¾ C mashed baked sweet potato, cooled**
½ C fat-free milk, at room temp.
2 large eggs, at room temp., lightly beaten
3 tsp canola oil
1 ½ tsp vanilla
¼ - 1/3 C finely chopped crystallized ginger*

*I had neither ground nor crystallized ginger, so I used 1/4 cup fresh ginger (peeled and finely grated), it was perfect so I recommend it!

**I used "yellow African sweet potato", but I think either sweet potatoes or yams would be tasty.

Stir together dry ingredients in a large bowl.
In separate bowl mix sweet potato, milk, eggs, oil and vanilla.
Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients, add wet mixture just to combine.
Stir in crystallized ginger.
Lightly oil a tray of 12 muffin cups.
Spoon batter into muffin cups.
Bake at 375 for 15-20 minutes (test with toothpick).
Cool for 5 minutes before removing from cups.

A New Year

The sun has set on 2007. It was a busy year for me: living half of it in Korea teaching english to wee ones; then escaping to scuba dive and float down rivers in Thailand, trek the moutains of Burma, and explore ancient temples in Cambodia; then traveling back home to visit friends and family in Colorado, California, Louisiana, New York and D.C.; followed by an adventure in getting to know Uganda.

This friendly, intriguing and diverse country, which while wraught with many problems is also pregnant with possibility, is where I celebrated the dawn of a new year. I found it very ironic that Christmas in Oderai village didn't feel like Christmas becuase there was absolutely nothing western or "christmasy" around, and then New Year's I didn't really feel as though I was in Africa becuase everything was so posh and quite familiar as a New Years Eve celebration. I was in K'la, and stayed with a friend who was house-sitting. This house was really REALLY nice, and I'm talking by American standards nice. We cooked pasta for dinner, drank wine, had champagne, went to watch fireworks on the roof of a very posh apartment building, then went for dancing and drinks at Bubbles, an Irish pub that is very popular among the expat crowd. About 5 am I took a special hire (what we would call a taxi, something that I never take) back to my posh abode and slept on an real mattress. That morning I slept in and then spent most of the day lounging on a leather sofa watching movies on DSTV and eating Brie. This is not something I've thought of doing or had the opportunity to do since coming to Africa, so it doesn't reflect my experience here at all. It was indeed odd.

So anyway, here we are in 2008. After reflecting on my past year, I feel quite satisfied with what I accomplished. As I look forward to this next year I'm filled with anticipation. In less than a month I'll be in Cape Town! Getting ready to start Grad School! I'm eager to explore new places and make a new home for myself, create new relatioships, be challenged, and see what South Africa has waiting for me! I hope wherever you are and whatever you're doing, you are also excited about the possiblities to come, are dreaming of all the things you can do, and are ready to make things happen!