A wedding, part 1

Though my friends James and Norah have officially been married for several weeks, the wedding ceremony, thus allowing them to behave as a married couple, has just taken place yesterday. The various ceremonies leading up to this celebratory day have taken place over the past 6 weeks. Their courtship before this was only several months, and was completely secret from everyone (well, except for a few select persons, *awink*) until about 7 weeks ago. I will describe the whole process in 2 blogs, because I'm sure most of you reading this as emial aren't prepared to read a whole book! So let's start from the beginning:

December 16: Introductions

Spend a day in a village in Uganda and you will be distinctly aware that introductions (like greetings) are of up most importance. Any formal or semi-formal function will involve the host and their family introducing themselves, asking the heads of guest households to introduce their family members, and often key guests will be asked to say something (I've lost track of how many "speeches" I've had to make). This process could potentially take hours, depending on the event, how many guests there are, and how long-winded they are allowed to be.

For this occasion the primary focus is on introducing the community to the person you intend to marry. First our numerous party arrived at the church of the groom's head pastor, Elim Pentecostal Church. After worship and prayers, the pastor announced ever so coyly that a certain pastor whom everyone had been praying would find a wife has come to make an announcement. He called James and his escorts to the front, James said a few words about finding a wife, and then he was asked to identify the woman he has chosen. Music was played and the entourage marched (think wedding march not military march) back and forth through the rows of the church (so as not to be presumptuous) until he finally reached Norah, whom he invited to join him. The church erupted into the "YI-YI-YI-Yiiiiii" exclamations of celebration from the woman as the couple marched to the front with now both of their entourages. James introduced his bride-to-be, Norah was asked to say a few words, and then we begged forgiveness as our whole group flooded out of the church, into our vehicles, and on to the next set of introductions.

As we arrived at Norah's church seats were cleared in the front rows for the guests and we were welcomed and asked to introduce ourselves. This time it was Norah's pastor who announced that something special would take place this morning. Norah was called forward with her entourage. It was her turn to march around the church (keep in mind that these churches are about the size of a living room, so no one gets lost in the crowd!) to identify the man she would marry. After she picked him out and they marched to the front, she introduced him, he said a few words, and again we rushed out.

Last we went to the church that James pastors in a nearby village. Here in this mud hut all parties began to relax, and while the formalities were the same, the atmosphere was much cooler. (This, by the way, was my first introduction to Oderai Village, which is where I spent Christmas and is one of my favorite places to be in Uganda).

December 23: Family Introductions and Dowry Negotiations

James and Norah were looking to make things as simple as possible. If they had their way, they would have had their wedding ceremony the same day as these introductions. Technically at this point they would be married anyway, but socially a marriage ceremony must happen before they can move in together. But Norah's parents weren't going to let that happen today. Nonetheless there was significant hubbub, which involved transporting something like 22 people in 2 vehicles from Soroti (where I'm living) to a village about an hour south called Bukedia. When we arrived we had to declare the purpose of our visit and obtain the permission of the family to enter their property. After a bit of taunting and negotiating, a ribbon was cut and we were welcomed in. A tent had been set up with chairs and we all piled in. Luckily Norah's family had already gathered so we didn't have to wait long. The MC announced the program (nothing here happens without a detailed schedule of events, even a birthday party!).

We began with, that's right, introductions, but I'm hanging with the right crowd because we managed to get through them in about 15 minutes. The chairperson of the wedding party (if you haven't caught on yet they are very formal with their titles and programs and everything) was asked to explain why they were present. There was bit of banter. Then the MC said that the girl they have come for is on her way and if we would be patient, her helicopter would land shortly and we could identify her as the intended bride. We waited. We bribed (the groomsmen came prepared with numerous envelopes containing 1000 shilling bills). Music started playing and 3 young girls marched into the tent and knelt. The MC said "please, is the girl you've come for here?" Some of James' entourage bemusedly pondered the girls and inspected them closely, then announced, "these are but children! The girl we want is not here! Please let me give them money for transport so they can go back to school!" They are handed envelopes and leave.

Again, the MC says the girl is on her way, "maybe she has been delayed by a meeting with the president, please be patient." We wait. We bribe. The music plays and three women march into the tent and kneel. "Please, identify which is the girl you are here to take away from us." The entourage inspects the three and spends some time in discussion, but finally decides the bride is not among these girls, so they offer money for transport and send them away. Again we wait ("I think I hear her helicopter now!") and in march 6 women. They are inspected. There are discussions. Finally they say yes, the girl we want is here, but please first let us give transport so the rest of these girls can go home." Norah is then asked by her family to identify the man in the crowd that she intends to marry. She marches with her entourage and selects James.

Next they have to negotiate the dowry. Norah's family compiles a list and passes it on to James' family. If I remember correctly it consisted of 6 bulls, 4 goats, maybe 10 chickens, and 200,000 Ugandan shillings. While this is a costly list, it is actually a relatively small request, as Norah is considered a valuable member of the family (having a university education). But obviously these things were discussed prior to today, and informally agreed upon. James' family accepted the bride price, and they discussed when the transfer of property would take place and when the wedding would be held.

to be continued...
(sorry my pictures are less than stellar. My skin color draws more than enough attention as it is, so I try to be as inconspicuous as possible in my picture taking--or forgo it completely--to avoid creating more of a spectacle)