What is a neighbour? I anticipate this very question to be one of the chapters of my thesis. Emma's description societies divided by a highway in Mumbai reminds me a lot of Cape Town, where the scars of apartheid still impair the landscape and determine quality of life.
But in Rwanda geography does not divide as history does. As many point out, the genocide was committed by average civilians, by neighbour against neighbour. Today the people who live next door to each other, go to school together, go to church together, stand in the same lines for water and go to the same market, they may be so terrified and angry at each other that those emotions dictate their lives. Perhaps they walk a certain path because they do not expect to pass a certain person there. Or they buy from a certain seller at the market, or go for water at a certain time of day. Maybe they choose to sit inside their house when resting in the afternoon if they see a certain neighbour sitting outside. But that neighbour is always there, reminding them of what was said, of lost loved ones, of the threat to their own life, of the threats to their future. It doesn't matter if you are Hutu or Tutsi, both are afraid, both are angry, both feel lost and hopeless.
In an ideal world, to be a neighbour means being able to ask for help in times of need, it means communal watching of children, it means doing your work--washing clothes, preparing meals, digging--together, it means sharing what little you have and enjoying each others company. It is, in such poverty as the people I know exist in, a relationship of dependency. Social networks are so broken in post-genocide Rwandan that having people close-by who are a source of support (emotionally and physically) is an urgent need. But some have no surviving relatives, many moved to areas where they knew no-one, and the suspicion between social groups creates all the more boundaries and limitations.
The work of reconciliation here is not a vague and abstract ideal with little tangible meaning in daily lives of people (as it may be suggested it has been in South Africa). It is, in reality, about survival. It is not only about a visible peace where people are not killing each other and everyone is treated equally, it is also about an inner peace that allows you to feel free to move about in your own neighbourhood at your pleasure, to build relationships with those around you, and to have hope in the future.
